he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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