i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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