Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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