the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
