my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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