Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
it's like heaven, but drunker
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
