we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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