we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
