Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize