Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
