flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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