so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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