I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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