note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
