I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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