I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im holly from the hills drunk
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
