I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
