my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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