I'm drive I can fine osifer
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
