I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
