I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
