when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.