So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
