he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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