remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Randomize
