my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
