Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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