marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
