You made me cry and you don't even care
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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