I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
