That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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