Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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