We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
