hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
