So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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