At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
