She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
