she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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