Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
