im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize