oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
