i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
