i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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