she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
