I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
