you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
