Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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