I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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