i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize