No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
