Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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