so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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