Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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