I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
