Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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