You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
