ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
