Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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