I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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