It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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