How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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