I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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