dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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