I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
