is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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