I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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