your room smells of hookers.
And success
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
