highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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