He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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