I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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